The day I stay the whole day at home, often it is either me get sick or Malicca does. Just like today. Not some kind of serious illness, but malicca has an eat disorder that worries everyone in the house. Imagine a 4 years old kid does not feel hungry at all the whole day, with asthma.
Sunken eyes, hollow cheeks, boney legs and arms. Oh, that is my son. But what are the odds. As soon as I got home, his smile back. He easily eats and drinks and even made a request for his meal.
Well.
Speechless.
Yea, well. If only I could stay home the whole day. Not this is what I always wanted, but for now this is what I want. Or the fact is, I maybe can? Only and if only I put my courage and set aside all of my worries and immerse to what life offers me in every single day.
Sometimes I wonder, am I entering the middle life crisis? The point where I question everything I have done and try (very hard) to foresee what is coming in the future (though I keep planning it, no matter what)? The point where I am so boring with everything but choose to do it anyway with questions that cannot stop stabbing back of my head.
Pheeew.
Yes, I need to reconsider everything. Put down my so called dreams (but more to ego, I guess) and immerse.
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